Chapter 7
DIFFICULTIES CONCERNING THE WILL
When the child of God has, by the way of entire abandonment and absolute trust,
stepped out of himself into Christ, and has begun to know something of the
blessedness of the life hid with Christ in God, there is one form of difficulty
which is very likely to start up in his path. After the first emotions of peace
and rest have somewhat subsided, or if, as is sometimes the case, they have
never seemed to come at all, he begins to feel such an utter unreality in the
things he has been passing through, that he seems to himself like a hypocrite,
when he says or even thinks they are real. It seems to him that his belief does
not go below the surface, that it is a mere lip-belief, and therefore of no
account, and that his surrender is not a surrender of the heart, and therefore
cannot be acceptable to God. He is afraid to say he is altogether the Lord's,
for fear he will be telling an untruth, and yet he cannot bring himself to say
he is not, because he longs for it so intensely. The difficulty is real and
very disheartening.
But there is nothing here which will not be
very easily overcome, when the Christian once thoroughly understands the
principles of the new life, and has learned how to live in it. The common
thought is, that this life hid with Christ in God is to be lived in the
emotions, and consequently all the attention of the soul is directed towards
them, and as they are satisfactory or otherwise, the soul rests or is troubled.
Now the truth is that this life is not to be lived in the emotions at all, but
in the will, and therefore the varying states of emotion do not in the least
disturb or affect the reality of the life, if only the will is kept steadfastly
abiding in its centre, God's will.
To make this plain, I must enlarge a little.
Fenelon says somewhere, that "pure religion resides in the will alone." By this
he means that as the will is the governing power in the man's nature, if the
will is set straight, all the rest of the nature must come into harmony. By the
will I do not mean the wish of the man, nor even his purpose, but the choice,
the deciding power, the king, to which all that is in the man must yield
obedience. It is the man, in short, the "Ego," that which we feel to be
ourselves.
It is sometimes thought that the emotions are the
governing power in our nature. But, as a matter of practical experience, I
think we all of us know that there is something within us, behind our emotions,
and behind our wishes, -- an independent self, -- that after all decides
everything and controls everything. Our emotions belong to us, and are suffered
and enjoyed by us, but they are not ourselves; and if God is to take possession
of us, it must be into this central will or personality that He shall enter.
If, then, He is reigning there by the power of His Spirit, all the rest of our
nature must come under His sway; and as the will is, so is the man.
The practical bearing of this truth upon the
difficulty I am considering is very great. For the decisions of our will are
often so directly opposed to the decisions of our emotions, that, if we are in
the habit of considering our emotions as the test, we shall be very apt to feel
like hypocrites in declaring those things to be real which our will alone has
decided. But the moment we see that the will is king, we shall utterly
disregard anything that clamors against it, and shall claim as real its
decisions, let the emotions rebel as they may.
I am aware that this is a difficult subject to
deal with, but it is so exceedingly practical in its bearing upon the life of
faith, that I beg of you, dear reader, not to turn from it until you have
mastered it.
Perhaps an illustration will help you. A young
man of great intelligence, seeking to enter into this new life, was utterly
discouraged at finding himself the slave to an inveterate habit of doubting. To
his emotions nothing seemed true, nothing seemed real; and the more he
struggled the more unreal did it all become. He was told this secret concerning
the will, that if he would only put his will over on to the believing side; if
he would choose to believe; if, in short, he would, in the Ego of his nature,
say, "I will believe! I do believe!" he need not trouble about his emotions,
for they would find themselves compelled, sooner or later, to come into
harmony. "What!" he said," do you mean to tell me that I can choose to believe
in that way, when nothing seems true to me; and will that kind of believing be
real?" "Yes," was the answer, "your part is only this, -- to put your will over
on God's side in this matter of believing; and when you do this, God
immediately takes possession of it, and works in you to will of His good
pleasure, and you will soon find that He has brought all the rest of your
nature into subjection to Himself." "Well," was the answer, "I can do this. I
cannot control my emotions, but I can control my will, and the new life begins
to look possible to me, if it is only my will that needs to be set straight in
the matter. I can give my will to God, and I do!"
From that moment, disregarding all the pitiful
clamoring of his emotions, which continually accused him of being a wretched
hypocrite, this young man held on steadily to the decision of his will,
answering every accusation with the continued assertion that he chose to
believe, he meant to believe, he did believe; until at the end of a few days he
found himself triumphant, with every emotion and every thought brought into
captivity to the mighty power of the blessed Spirit of God, who had taken
possession of the will thus put into His hands. He had held fast the profession
of his faith without wavering, although it had seemed to him that, as to real
faith itself, he had none to hold fast. At times it had drained all the will
power he possessed to his lips, to say that he believed, so contrary was it to
all the evidence of his senses or of his emotions. But he had caught the idea
that his will was, after all, himself, and that if he kept that on God's side,
he was doing all he could do, and that God alone could change his emotions or
control his being. The result has been one of the grandest Christian lives I
know of, in its marvellous simplicity, directness, and power over sin.
The secret lies just here. That our will, which
is the spring of all our actions, is in our natural state under the control of
self, and self has been working it in us to our utter ruin and misery. Now God
says, "Yield yourselves up unto Me, as those that are alive from the dead, and
I will work in you to will and to do of my good pleasure." And the moment we
yield ourselves, He of course takes possession of us, and does work in us "that
which is well pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ," giving us the mind
that was in Christ, and transforming us into His image. (See Rom. 12:1, 2.)
Let us take another illustration. A lady, who had
entered into this life hid with Christ, was confronted by a great prospective
trial. Every emotion she had within her rose up in rebellion against it, and
had she considered her emotions to be her king, she would have been in utter
despair. But she had learned this secret of the will, and knowing that, at the
bottom, she herself did really choose the will of God for her portion, she did
not pay the slightest attention to her emotions, but persisted in meeting every
thought concerning the trial, with the words, repeated over and over, "Thy will
be done! Thy will be done!" asserting in the face of all her rebelling
feelings, that she did submit her will to God's, that she chose to submit, and
that His will should be and was her delight! The result was, that in an
incredibly short space of time every thought was brought into captivity; and
she began to find even her very emotions rejoicing in the will of God.
Again, there was a lady who had a besetting sin,
which in her emotions she dearly loved, but which in her will she hated. Having
believed herself to be necessarily under the control of her emotions, she had
therefore thought she was unable to conquer it, unless her emotions should
first be changed. But she learned this secret concerning the will, and going to
her knees she said, "Lord, Thou seest that with one part of my nature I love
this sin, but in my real central self I hate it. And now I put my will over on
thy side in the matter. I will not do it any more. Do thou deliver me."
Immediately God took possession of the will thus surrendered to Himself, and
began to work in her, so that His will in the matter gained the mastery over
her emotions, and she found herself delivered, not by the power of an outward
commandment, but by the inward power of the Spirit of God working in her that
which was well pleasing in His sight.
And now, dear Christian, let me show you how to
apply this principle to your difficulties. Cease to consider your emotions, for
they are only the servants; and regard simply your will, which is the real king
in your being. Is that given up to God? Is that put into His hands? Does your
will decide to believe? Does your will choose to obey? If this is the case,
then you are in the Lord's hands, and you decide to believe, and you choose to
obey; for your will is yourself. And the thing is done. The transaction with
God is as real, where only your will acts, as when every emotion coincides. It
does not seem as real to you; but in God's sight it is as real. And when you
have got hold of this secret, and have discovered that you need not attend to
your emotions, but simply to the state of your will, all the Scripture
commands, to yield yourself to God, to present yourself a living sacrifice to
Him, to abide in Christ, to walk in the light, to die to self, become possible
to you; for you are conscious that, in all these, your will can act, and can
take God's side: whereas, if it had been your emotions that must do it, you
would sink down in despair, knowing them to be utterly uncontrollable.
When, then, this feeling of unreality or
hypocrisy comes, do not be troubled by it. It is only in your emotions, and is
not worth a moment's thought. Only see to it that your will is in God's hands;
that your inward self is abandoned to His working; that your choice, your
decision, is on His side; and there leave it. Your surging emotions, like a
tossing vessel, which, by degrees, yields to the steady pull of the cable,
finding themselves attached to the mighty power of God by the choice of your
will, must inevitably come into captivity, and give in their allegiance to Him;
and you will verify the truth of the saying that, "If any man will do His will,
he shall know of the doctrine."
The will is like a wise mother in a nursery; the
feelings are like a set of clamoring, crying children. The mother decides upon
a certain course of action, which she believes to be right and best. The
children clamor against it, and declare it shall not be. But the mother,
knowing that she is mistress and not they, pursues her course calmly, unmoved
by their clamors, and takes no notice of them except in trying to soothe and
quiet them. The result is that the children are sooner or later compelled to
yield, and fall in with the decision of the mother. Thus order and harmony are
preserved. But if that mother should for a moment let in the thought that the
children were the mistresses instead of herself, confusion would reign
unchecked. Such instances have been known in family life! And in how many souls
at this very moment is there nothing but confusion, simply because the feelings
are allowed to govern, instead of the will!
Remember, then, that the real thing in your
experience is what your will decides, and not the verdict of your emotions; and
that you are far more in danger of hypocrisy and untruth in yielding to the
assertions of your feelings, than in holding fast to the decision of your will.
So that, if your will is on God's side, you are no hypocrite at this moment in
claiming as your own the blessed reality of belonging altogether to Him, even
though your emotions may all declare the contrary.
I am convinced that, throughout the Bible, the
expressions concerning the "heart" do not mean the emotions, that which we now
understand by the word "heart"; but they mean the will, the personality of the
man, the man's own central self; and that the object of God's dealings with man
is, that this "I" may be yielded up to Him, and this central life abandoned to
His entire control. It is not the feelings of the man God wants, but the man
himself.
Have you given Him yourself, dear reader? Have
you abandoned your will to His working? Do you consent to surrender the very
centre of your being into His hands? Then, let the outposts of your nature
clamor as they may, it is your right to say, even now, with the apostle, "I am
crucified with Christ; nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in
me: and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son
of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me."
After this chapter had been enclosed to the
printer, the following remarkable practical illustration of its teaching was
presented by Pasteur T. Monod, of Paris. It is the experience of a Presbyterian
minister, which this pasteur had carefully kept for many years.
NEWBURGH, Sept. 26, 1842.
Dear Brother, -- I take a few moments of that
time which I have devoted to the Lord, in writing a short epistle to you, His
servant. It is sweet to feel we are wholly the Lord's, that He has received us
and called us His. This is religion, -- a relinquishment of the principle of
self-ownership, and the adoption in full of the abiding sentiment, "I am not my
own, I am bought with a price." Since I last saw you, I have been pressing
forward, and yet there has been nothing remarkable in my experience of which I
can speak; indeed I do not know that it is best to look for remarkable things;
but strive to be holy, as God is holy, pressing right on toward the mark of the
prize.
I do not feel myself qualified to instruct you; I
can only tell you the way in which I was led. The Lord deals differently with
different souls, and we ought not to attempt to copy the experience of others,
yet there are certain things which must be attended to by every one who is
seeking after a clean heart.
There must be a personal consecration of all to
God, a covenant made with God, that we will be wholly and forever His. This I
made intellectually without any change in my feeling, with a heart full of
hardness and darkness, unbelief and sin and insensibility.
I covenanted to be the Lord's, and laid all upon
the altar, a living sacrifice, to the best of my ability. And after I rose from
my knees, I was conscious of no change in my feeling. I was painfully conscious
that there was no change. But yet I was sure that I did, with all the sincerity
and honesty of purpose of which I was capable, make an entire and eternal
consecration of myself to God. I did not then consider the work done by any
means, but I engaged to abide in a state of entire devotion to God, a living
perpetual sacrifice. And now came the effort to do this.
I knew that I must believe that God did accept
me, and had come in to dwell in my heart. I was conscious I did not believe
this, and yet I desired to do so. I read with much prayer John's First Epistle,
and endeavored to assure my heart of God's love to me as an individual. I was
sensible that my heart was full of evil. I seemed to have no power to overcome
pride, or to repel evil thoughts, which I abhorred. But Christ was manifested
to destroy the works of the devil, and it was clear that the sin in my heart
was the work of the devil. I was enabled, therefore, to believe that God was
working in me, to will and to do, while I was working out my own salvation with
fear and trembling.
I was convinced of unbelief, that it was
voluntary and criminal. I clearly saw that unbelief was an awful sin, it made
the faithful God a liar. The Lord brought before me my besetting sins which had
dominion over me, especially preaching myself instead of Christ, and indulging
self-complacent thoughts after preaching. I was enabled to make myself of no
reputation, and to seek the honor which cometh from God only. Satan struggled
hard to beat me back from the Rock of Ages but thanks to God I finally hit upon
the method of living by the moment, and then I found rest.
I trusted in the blood of Jesus already shed, as
a sufficient atonement for all my past sins, and the future I committed wholly
to the Lord, agreeing to do His will under all circumstances as He should make
it known, and I saw that all I had to do was to look to Jesus for a present
supply of grace, and to trust Him to cleanse my heart and keep me from sin at
the present moment.
I felt shut up to a momentary dependence upon the
grace of Christ. I would not permit the adversary to trouble me about the past
or future, for I each moment looked for the supply for that moment. I agreed
that I would be a child of Abraham, and walk by naked faith in the Word of God,
and not by inward feelings and emotions: I would seek to be a Bible Christian.
Since that time the Lord has given me a steady victory over sins which before
enslaved me. I delight in the Lord, and in His Word. I delight in my work as a
minister: my fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. I am
a babe in Christ; I know my progress has been small compared with that made by
many. My feelings vary, but when I have feelings, I praise God, and I trust in
His word; and when I am empty and my feelings are gone, I do the same. I have
covenanted to walk by faith and not by feelings.
The Lord, I think, is beginning to revive His
work among my people. "Praise the Lord." May the Lord fill you with all His
fulness and give you all the mind of Christ. Oh, be faithful! Walk before God
and be perfect. Preach the Word. Be instant in season and out of season. The
Lord loves you. He works with you. Rest your soul fully upon that promise, "Lo,
I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world."
Your fellow soldier,
WILLIAM HILL
There may be some who will object to this
teaching, that it ignores the work of the blessed Holy Spirit. But I must refer
such to the introductory chapter of this book, in which I have fully explained
myself. I am not writing upon that side of the subject; I am considering man's
part in the matter, and not the part of the Spirit. I realize intensely that
all a man can do or try to do would be utterly useless, if the Holy Spirit did
not work in that man continually. And it is only because I believe in the
Spirit as a mighty power, ever present and always ready to do his work, that I
can write as I do. But, like the wind that bloweth where it listeth, and thou
hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it
goeth, the operations of the Spirit are beyond our control, and also beyond our
comprehension.
The results we know, and the steps on our part
which lead to those results, but we know nothing more. And yet, like a workman
in a great manufactory, who does not question the commands of his employer, and
is not afraid to undertake apparent impossibilities, because he knows there is
a mighty unseen power, called steam, behind his machinery, which can accomplish
it all, so we dare to urge upon men that they shall simply and courageously set
themselves to do that which they are commanded to do, because we know that the
mighty Spirit will never fail to supply at each moment the necessary power for
that moment's act. And we boldly claim that we who thus write can say from our
very hearts, as earnestly and as solemnly as any other Christians, We believe
in the Holy Ghost.