CHAPTER XVIII. How It Was With Him At That Hour in Regard of His Interior Man
The Servant.--Eternal Wisdom! the more
one reflects on Thy measureless Passion, the more unfathomable it appears. Thy
extremity was so very great under the cross, but still more so on the cross,
according to Thy exterior powers which, at that hour, felt all the pangs of
bitter death. But, gentle Lord, how was it with Thy interior Man, with Thy
noble Soul? Had it no consolation, no sweetness like other martyrs souls, so as
to mitigate its cruel sufferings? Or, when did Thy sufferings come to an
end?
Eternal Wisdom.--Now, hearken to a misery
of miseries, such as thou never yet didst hear of. Although My soul, according
to her highest powers, was at that time wrapt in the vision and enjoyment of
the pure divinity, noble as, in truth, she is, behold, the lower powers of My
exterior and interior nature were yet wholly abandoned to themselves, even to
the very last drop of infinite bitterness of suffering, without any
consolation, so that no torment was ever equal to it. And as I was thus left
entirely helpless and forsaken, with running wounds, with weeping eyes, with
extended arms, with the veins of My body on the rack, in the agony of death,
then it was that I lifted up My voice in lamentation, and cried out miserably
to My Father: My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me? And still in all this,
My will was united in eternal conformity with His will. And when all My blood
was poured out, and all My strength exhausted, behold, I was seized by a bitter
thirst, because of My mortal agony. But I thirsted still more for the salvation
of man. Then did they reach Me vinegar and gall to quench the burning thirst of
My parched mouth. And when I had accomplished the work of human redemption, I
cried out: It is finished! I was entirely obedient to My Father, even unto
death. My Spirit I commended into His hands, saying: Into Thy hands I commend
My Spirit. And then My noble Soul separated from My body, both of which yet
remained unseparated from the divinity! After this a sharp spear was thrust
into My right side; forthwith a stream of precious blood gushed out, and with
it a fountain of living water. Behold, My child, in an extremity so pitiable as
this did I redeem thee, and all the elect, and did save thee by the living
sacrifice of My innocent blood from everlasting death.
The Servant.--Alas! tender and loving Lord
and Brother, with what sorrowful, what bitter toil didst Thou not reap me in!
Alas! noble Lord, how ardently didst Thou love me, how generously didst Thou
redeem me! Woe is me, Thou fair Wisdom, how shall I ever be in a condition to
acknowledge Thy love, and Thy sufferings? If I had Samson's strength, Absalom's
beauty, Solomon's wisdom, and the riches and greatness of all kings, my only
wish would be to devote them to Thy praise and service. But, Lord, I am
nothing, and therefore can do nothing. O Lord, how am I to thank Thee?
Eternal Wisdom.--If thou hadst the tongues
of all the angels, the good works of all mankind, and the powers of all created
beings, thou yet couldst not thank Me, nor requite Me, for the least pang which
I suffered for the love of thee.
The Servant.--Tender Lord, inform and
teach me, then, how I may become pleasing to Thee by means of Thy grace, since
no one is able to make Thee a return for the tokens of Thy love.
Eternal Wisdom.--Thou shouldst often set
My sorrowful cross before thy eyes, and let My bitter torments penetrate to thy
heart, and shape thy own sufferings after them. If I allow thee to pine and
wither in disconsolate affliction and dryness, without any sweetness, thou
shouldst not seek after strange consolation. Let thy cry of misery rise to thy
heavenly Father with a renunciation of thyself and all thy desires, according
to His Fatherly will. The bitter thy suffering is from without, and the more
resigned thou art from within, the more like art thou to Me, and the more dear
to My heavenly Father, for herein the most pious are put to the strongest
proof. What though thy desires may have a thirsty craving to seek satisfaction
and delight in something that might be pleasant to them, yet shouldst thou
forego it for My sake, and thus will thy thirsty mouth be steeped with me in
bitterness. Thou shouldst thirst after the salvation of men. Thy good works
thou shouldst direct to a perfect life, and persevere to the end. Thy will must
be subject, thy obedience prompt to thy superiors; thy soul, and all that
belongs to it, thou must surrender into thy heavenly Father's hands, and thy
spirit must ever be dying out of time into eternity, in prefiguration of thy
last journey. Behold, thus will thy cross be shaped after My miserable cross,
and worthily accomplished in it. Thou shouldst wholly lock thyself up with My
love-wounded heart in My open side, and dwell there, and seek there thy
resting-place. Then will I wash thee with the waters of life, and deck thee out
with My precious blood, in purple. I will associate Myself to thee, and unite
thee with Myself eternally.
The Servant.--Lord, never was there any
magnet so powerful in attracting hard iron to itself, as Thy love-fraught
Passion, thus presented to my soul, is powerful to unite to itself all hearts.
Alas! Thou loving Lord, draw me now by means of love and sorrow away from this
world to Thee on Thy cross, fulfill in me the closest resemblance to Thy cross,
so that my soul may enjoy Thee in Thy highest glory.